So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
