belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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