I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm at about main and main street
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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