Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize