everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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