Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
