Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
