you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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