i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do vagina's smell?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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