And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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