I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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