Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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