How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
