I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
