I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
