You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
