I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
