Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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