oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
