this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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