I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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