so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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