I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize