i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
