I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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