Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize