Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
