There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
