I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
