If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
