Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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