fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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