Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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