what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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