thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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