I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
