It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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