Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
