I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize