So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize