Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
