My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
