He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think my moral compass just broke
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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