I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
