ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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