it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
