i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
