Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
