wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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