I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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