He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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