come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
