It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize