no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize